too late

. will you really make it happen this time?

ah... to be pursued. to be wanted. to be needed. it would make any man's resolve crumble. you promise the moon, the stars and the kitchen sink. what do you want? everything can go back to how it was out. this...? maybe even better than before. that...? i don't stop until the fat lady sings, you say. come on.

i will make it happen. i can make it happen.

can you really? your actions and words say otherwise. you have a history and you're living the truth i have made up in mind of who you really are. it is the point of no return. i don't go back. i move forward, maybe even side ways but never back. i saw something in the past that makes for the future that is very clear. i feel i didn't deserve the uncaring treatment and the continued disregard for my true worth. you will never change. learn from the lesson that this represent.

too late... too late.

>>a new day, a new life<<

next

.how do you know if this is the last?

you never know until its the end. we of ficklemind. we of the curious type. next please.

somehow, people say they know you by the relationships you had. but can you really? you only hear of the name and read the things that transpired. sprinkle that with your own experiences and biases. of course, you form your conclusion. its not them, its you. could it be them not me?

you go in hoping, praying... making sure it will be the last. let's just hope this is it.

bye

.where has the love gone?

time to get off a souring relationship. it started out really great - full of promise with the best of all intentions and hope that it was to be the last. but then... people change, promises forgotten, passion leaves. one day, the love was gone.

it was not just one point in time but many junctures. it was small things and big things. nearing the end, you just don't like who you have become. you think that you'd just want a break from it all.... just to rise above the water and breathe again. and then, it dawn on you - just walk away. no need to invest more of yourself.

bye.

>> national sarcasm society <<

epitaph

. how would your epitaph read?.

it has been almost a month now since i called home from the jakarta airport only to be told by my mom that we had lost him at that very second. a whirlwind of activities ensued. it was (still is) a big blur. the eventual had happened. i had cried earlier but the emotion was strongest when you finally say goodbye, for the last time. i went back to him before catching a flight out.

the fresh patch of soil is the only indicator of where he finally finds rest. the epitaph has yet to be placed. it was to read " beloved husband and father". in all his 60 years, this concise phrase was to be my dad's abstract. he was more than this ... a dear friend to many who i met during the wake, an endearing brother to his siblings, a playful uncle to all his nephews and nieces, an esteemed colleague and many more to a lot of people. put suffice it, by our dictate, he will be "beloved husband and father".

a draft : "Lost. Loved. Lived "